Is There A Global Bacon Crisis Looming?!

Posted: September 26 @ 9:00am by scrody in Bolivian
Tags: , , ,

[HP] With pork costs rising, Great Britain is facing a bacon and sausage shortage as pig farmers cut back on herd size. But the problem may soon become global. In a recent press release, the U.K.’s National Pig Association is warning that a “world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable“:

New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests. All main European pig-producing countries report shrinking sow herds.

Financial Times reports that this past season’s droughts in North America and Russia are to blame for the spike in prices for grain crops, which are used to feed animals. As of August, nearly half of all counties in the U.S. were considered disaster areas due to extreme dryness and heat. Some U.S. farmers have taken to extreme measures to feed their livestock and save money at the same time, including one Kentucky farmer who fed his cattle candy “just to survive.”

I could care less about the financial crisis. My wallet has never been doing better, so who cares if 47% of the country has to use food stamps to buy Ramen noodles. Muslim uprisings over a shitty YouTube video? As long as they stay out of my city, they can burn down as many embassies as they want for all I care. And the upcoming presidential elections literally have no effect on my life. Corporations are so entrenched in our government, employing their minions to do their deeds, that the oval office has never been as powerless as it is right now. But as soon as I read about this looming bacon crisis, my world came to a screeching halt. This is what I consider to be a true humanitarian crisis. Can you imagine a world where little African children can’t enjoy some succulent strips of savory swine? Where Muslims and Jews alike can’t bond over the rush of risking eternal damnation or death by stoning just for a taste of some fatty, fried heaven on a plate? A world where I don’t put my physician’s kids through med school with my endless stream of payments for blood work, Lipitor prescriptions and triple bypass surgeries? Well I, for one, can not and will not imagine such a world. So I implore you, fellow citizens of earth, please watch your pig intake. No wasting. No taking more than you really need. And, for gods sake, no crumbling up bacon bits and putting them on your salad. That’s just asinine. If we work hard, we’ll get through this together. Thank you. God bless. And god bless the Unites States of America.

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