“Sweet Single Moms” Massages Are No More

Posted: July 20 @ 3:30pm by 610 in Bolivian

[Lee County]  On Thursday, July 12, 2012, members of the Lee County Sheriff’s Office Narcotics Unit conducted an undercover prostitution operation. The operation was conducted in response to several ads on the internet site Backpage.com offering body rubs and massages by “sweet single moms.”  Upon further investigation it was found the ads were linked by a telephone number which was associated with a business operating under the name of “The Concierge Couple.”  The company website offered various services ranging from home cleaning to “four handed massages” which is common street terminology for a two girl session. The Backpage.com ads were listed as a must read for “Hobbyists” which is street terminology for men who frequently have sex with prostitutes usually found online. Due to these facts phone calls and text messages were placed to the number listed. A man who identified himself as “Tim” answered stating he was out of town but that he could set up a two girl session for later in the afternoon for $250.00. “Tim” advised the undercover detective he would be very pleased with the “finish” and the two girls would be available. “Tim” then sent a photo of one of the girls partially nude and a video of the other naked in a swimming pool.

At the time agreed, the undercover detective went to the address and was greeted at the door by a female later identified as Laura Gordon (DOB 10/22/77). Once inside, the detective observed a second female sitting in the lanai area who was later identified as Kayla Lowndes (DOB 07/11/90). Gordon asked the detective to go to the bathroom to freshen up, then undress and lay down on the massage table. The detective did as requested at which time Gordon and Lowndes entered the room topless and only wearing panties. The detective had a conversation relating to sex acts that would be performed. Both Gordon and Lowndes placed body lotion on the detective and began giving him a massage. It was during this time probable cause was developed for the arrest of both females.

I’m not gonna say the undercover detective is a liar, but I will say his synopsis of the events that transpired are incomplete.  I’m not mad at him, but I don’t doubt he handed his paperwork to his commanding officer with a little “wink wink”.  It’s downright impossible to walk away from a four-handed massage if you got a functioning dong regardless of whether or not you’re a “hobbyist”.  Don’t come at me with your George Clooney delusions & how you wouldn’t let these filthy, ugly skanks put a hand on you, either.  Listen, I’d be a little spooked at first when Laura answered the door, but a 22 year-old slut is a solid counter-balance.  If my math is correct, a 2 and a 5 make a 7.  Not to mention all the old adages like “four eyes hands are better than two”, “more is better”, etc.  Fuckin’ bargain for $250.  No dick is refusing quartets of tits and hands ready to perform a lotioned skin-flute symphony. You got your arrests, detective.  Congratulations.  But just because you left it out of your report doesn’t mean you didn’t discharge your weapon.

  1. Cracker says:

    Well, just one more example of the fact that single moms are whores…pretty sure someone already did a writeup on the site about this little fact.


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