[The Ledger] A Winter Haven man remained in jail Sunday after he was accused of attacking three women with a 4-foot sword and a peanut-butter sandwich, according to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. Mark Christopher Miller, 50, used the sword to threaten two women, one of them pregnant, and then smeared another with the sandwich before the deputies hauled him away, according to his arrest report. As the deputies drove him to jail, Miller ripped a piece of padding from the inside of the patrol car with his teeth, the report says. The fracas began when Miller heard a disturbance outside his mobile home at 2500 U.S. 92 W. No. 18A. He exited, sword in hand, and “poked” it at the 6-month pregnant woman’s stomach, the report says. She managed to grab the blade and stop him from stabbing her.
Hey, Mark, you might want to try and relax a little. I can see how a disturbance outside your mobile home would irritate you, but that kinda comes with the territory of being white trash who resides in a trailer park. Unfortunately, because you’re poor, you don’t get to enjoy your Jif on whole wheat in peace. So when you got a prego bitch and her 2 twat friends interrupting dinner time with their annoying babble, you have a couple of options. You can simply grin and bear it – not the easiest thing to do considering how beaten of a man 50 year-old Winnebago resident Mark Miller must be, but it’s an option. Option #2, impale that broad’s fetus right in its under-developed head – just know that you’ll also have to slice the other 2 bitches’ throats too. Otherwise you’ll have to listen to manic shrieking as you go back inside to finish your meal. That’s just making a bad situation worse. Option #3 – kill yourself. Under no circumstances though do you let these cunts ruin your peanut butter sandwich. As soon as you face-mush a bitch with Jif, you’ve lost and they’ve won. There’s no amount of sword abortions that can change that. You gotta be better than this, Mark.