People Flipping Their Shit Over Oreos’ Gay Pride Support

Posted: June 26 @ 4:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[LA Times]  It’s not the stack of six crème patties that’s whipped up a frenzy at Oreo’s official Facebook page: It’s that together, they form a rainbow in celebration of gay pride. The image of the multi-layered Kraft cookie appears above a date – June 25 – and the word “pride.” A caption declares “Proudly support love!” The cookie isn’t available for purchase. Of the profile’s nearly 27 million fans, more than 154,000 liked the Pride post. Not all the nearly 20,000 comments, however, were quite as supportive. “Bye Bye OREO!,” wrote user Jeni Friedersdorf. “Why can’t companies stay neutral on such things?” A few quoted the Bible; several swore to boycott the snack. In response came an outpouring of Oreo love. One user, Matthew Merix, wrote: “Homophobes = tacky. Kraft Foods = progressive. Cookies = AWESOME.” The debate quickly spilled onto the rest of Oreo’s Facebook profile and also onto Twitter. Hordes of commenters pledged to buy the cookies, marketed through Kraft’s Nabisco brand, to show solidarity. That lead some users to question the company’s motives. “What’s funny is the fact that people are congratulating ‘Oreo’ for taking this stand and ‘not caring about profits,’ wrote Facebook user Dennis Archer. “This will do nothing but cause an influx of sales, which Nabisco was well aware of.”

Listen, in all walks of life there’s a level of “untouchable” status attained by very few.  Kobe Bryant can (allegedly) toss his black mamba into the dumper of an unwilling blonde and still be at the top of the list in international jersey sales.  Woody Allen can beat a child abuse rap, fuck his baby mama’s adopted daughter and become his son’s brother-in-law yet still hammer out Academy Award nominations to the delight of movie-goers everywhere.  It’s what makes smoking hot chicks tolerable, albeit temporarily. Oreo cookies are on this level.  

I don’t give a fuck if I saw an Oreo with a hole in the middle of it covered in the AIDS-ridden dick blood of 2 homeless gay dudes who ran a train on it – I’m getting a glass of milk, dunking that shit & throwing it down the hatch.  Then I’m shoveling the crumbs from the hole these cocks created into my hand & eating those as well.  This is after that same cookie killed my mother slowly over the course of a week & dismembered my dogs.  And that’s not just me – those are the words of millions.  What I’m trying to say is, I don’t care what your beliefs are or how steadfast you claim to be about them.  Oreos can do whatever they please and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.  Even you, Jeni Friedersdorf. “Bye Bye OREO!” will last for about a week before you’re scarfing down double stuffs at a record clip with tears streaming down your face while you beg your homo-hating God for forgiveness.

You religious homophobic nutjobs have no idea what gay is until you see what I’d do to Jesus up on that cross for a bag of Oreos.

  1. Cracker says:

    Not quite sure how you went from rainbow pride oreo to, what did you say, “stained with the aids riddled dick blood of homeless men”? And somehow this demon cookie has managed to murder your mother and canine companions slowly?

    …You are seriously fucked up man! Really, get some help. You think you know a guy and then he posts something like this. And what exactly are you going to do to gay Jesus?

    • 610 says:

      All I’m saying is I don’t care if an Oreo wants to be a little gay, be the creme filling in an AIDS-riddled gay homeless man Oreo bang session (oh, the irony) or kill everything I’ve ever loved. I am hopelessly devoted to them. They can do no wrong. I’d make Jesus Christ moan “Jesus Christ” if they wanted me to. These shitheads up in arms over Oreo gay pride support might as well swear off oxygen if they think they can swear off Oreos. Impossible.

  2. Cracker says:

    We talking double stuff, fudge covered or even mint chocolate Oreos? or just the plain old normal ones? Because while I might see your point with any of the “special” Oreos, I just can’t abide by your praise of regular Oreos. Shit might as well be Hydrox cookies, at least they’re original.

  3. Fatso Fantastic says:

    The real travesty here is that they aren’t actually selling these 6-layer Oreos! Oh my God, imagine if all the layers were different creme-flavors!? I’d call them: looking tasty good bites (LGBT)…And to 610, I’d skull fuck the Devil for one of those LGBT Oreos…again.

  4. Fatso Fantastic says:

    Oh Jesus Christ I was so excited about the 6 layer oreo’s I fucked up Lookin Good Tasty Bites!

  5. scrody says:

    If the only way I could eat Oreos was if George Takei beat off and jizzed his cream filling into my oreo’s cream filling, then stuffed it up Gay Jesus’s ass who then Cleveland Steamer’d it out onto my chest, I could still grab a glass of milk and eat a whole sleeve in one sitting… er, laying.

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