Polygamist, Rapist & Chronic Masturbator Warren Jeffs In Coma After Fasting In Jail

Posted: August 30 @ 11:00am by 610 in Bolivian
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[CNN]  Polygamist leader Warren Jeffs was in critical condition in a Texas hospital Monday after falling ill during a fast, a state prison official and his attorney said. A source familiar with Jeffs’ medical condition told CNN Monday that Jeffs was in a coma. The source did not provide further details. “He was not eating or drinking enough fluids and also has some other medical conditions,” Clark told CNN. He would not elaborate, citing inmate privacy rules. Jeffs told officials at the Powledge prison unit that he was not on a hunger strike, but had been “fasting,” Clark said. His attorney, Emily Detoto, confirmed Jeffs’ condition and that he had not been eating. On August 4, Jeffs was found guilty of the aggravated sexual assaults of a 12-year-old girl and a 15-year-old girl he claimed were his “spiritual wives.” He will have to spend at least 45 years in prison before being eligible for release, state prosecutors said. Jeffs was also found guilty of two counts of rape by accomplice in Utah in 2007 and was sentenced to 10 years to life in prison there.

Listen Warren, I said I didn’t see anything wrong with beating off 15 times a day in the clink.  Can’t be all that much else to do there – I’d be cranking out batches all day too.  What I didn’t say is that it’s easy to do.  You gotta get your fair share of sustenance & hydration if you’re gonna be coating your cell with semen.  It’s not like they got Lubriderm in lockup, so powering through the pain of shaft skin loss isn’t exactly a breeze.  Not to mention the mental focus you need to continually pop a rod for another palm pummeling once you venture into double-digits.  Can’t do that on an empty stomach.  I mean what do you think is gonna happen after firing off ropes all willy-nilly with no nutrition?  I respect an old-fashioned blood, sweat & jizz kinda guy but be smart about it bro.  No way you fucked your 12 year-old spiritual wife without having her whip you up some mac & cheese first, right?

P.S. – I am 1000% petrified of everyone interviewed in this video.  Nothing scares me more than a religious devout.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Good. I think he would have to have a picture of a young child to be able to do all of the above, which I hope he’s not allowed in prison.

    I would also be very afraid of all those lunatics that could believe in such dribble as he was spurting out.

  2. Thor says:

    Why is it a FACT that only the most mentally unstable and heavily retarded inbred assholes on earth are all God freaks, or pretend to be, and try hard to hide behind and use religion as a means to inflict their bullshit unto others? Religion=BAN all forms of religion and save the world!

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