Dude Sneaks Into Ebola Ward & Steals A Cell Phone. Guess What Happened Next?

Posted: August 27 @ 4:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[Uganda Security and medical officials in Kibaale District have registered a case in which a man allegedly went in an isolation ward at Kagadi Hospital and stole a cellular phone from one of the Ebola patients. The 40-year-old resident of Kyakabugahya LCI in Kagadi Town Council travelled about three kilometers to the hospital to apparently obtain a phone estimated to be valued at Shs60,000 more than two weeks ago. The suspect allegedly broke into the isolation ward on the night of Tuesday August 14, undetected by hospital guards. The patient, who has since succumbed to the deadly hemorrhagic fever, then reported the theft to the hospital security that then embarked on tracing the alleged thief. Police detectives began tracking him after he apparently began communicating to his friends using the phone. But as police zeroed in on him, he developed symptoms similar to those of Ebola and sought medication at the hospital. While at hospital he reportedly confessed stealing the phone and has handed it to Kagadi police. In his confession made to the police, the suspect, now patient, claimed he had visited the isolation ward to give them comfort although he confessed to knowing none in person. The Kibaale District Health Officer, Dr Dan Kyamanywa, said: “The suspect is admitted at Kagadi Hospital with clinical signs of Ebola.”

I don’t know much about Uganda other than they suck at Little League baseball, but I feel like a Nokia there is worth a few rashes & bloody orifices. If we’re talking an iPhone with Siri belting out some African click language, then it’s a no-brainer. Far be it from me to be all American and make fun of some dude who is willing to slip into an Ebola ward past personnel dressed up like Walt & Jesse mid-cook as if he’s the Ugandan Jason Bourne wearing what might as well be shorts & Crocs. Obviously a month’s worth of quarantine, puking and squirt-shitting simultaneously was worth being able to sext with Mmfoofoo & call his buddy Balondemu to brag about it. Probably felt the Ebola strains hopping into his ear & mouth – didn’t give a fuck. And why should he? More people in Uganda have Ebola than a cell phone. No big deal.

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