[TSG] – Meet Aaron Morris. The 18-year-old Floridian is sitting in a Broward County jail cell due to poor impulse control. Specifically, Morris is accused of groping a woman’s buttocks outside a dressing room at a Walmart in North Lauderdale. The teenager, pictured in the adjacent mug shot, was arrested shortly after the incident Thursday evening. During questioning by law enforcement, Morris copped to grabbing the victim’s rear end and provided an explanation, of sorts, for his behavior,according to a sheriff’s report. “Her booty looked so good,” he noted, “I just couldn’t resist touching it.”Locked up in lieu of $1000 bail, Morris has been charged with touch or strike/battery, a misdemeanor.
I have a big problem with rape, sexual assault, battery and all things like it. However, I got no problemo with Aaron Morris. I completely get where he’s coming from. He’s not one of those creepy dudes with a mirror on his shoe catching snatch shots with malice aforethought. He’s an 18 year-old kid – a walking boner – who was put in what he perceived as a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Saw a booty that looked so good he was faced with an unexpected “shit or get off the pot” opportunity that may never return. So many dudes tell stories like, “Bro, I was at the gym blasting my pecs when the hottest chick I’ve ever seen walked in. Seriously, I’ll never see a girl that hot again.” “So…did you do anything? Talk to her?” “Uhh…nah man, I didn’t want to come off like some creep who hits on everything with tits at the gym.” Congratulations, pansy. Maybe if you weren’t so self-conscious you’d be man enough to take a risk. Who cares what some twat thinks of you unless you’re balls-deep in that prized piece of pussy? I’ll tell you who doesn’t care – Aaron Morris. Didn’t just stand there and admire that juicy double – he took a handful of bubble, fully aware of the potential consequences. It may not have been the result he wanted, but he did walk away with the consolation prize of a squeeze. Besides, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.