Poor Hakeem Nicks Has His College Records Asterisked

Posted: July 20 @ 1:30pm by 610 in Bolivian

[ESPN NY] – North Carolina will mark Hakeem Nicks’ school records with an asterisk after he was ruled to be competing while academically ineligible during his final season in 2008, the university said Thursday. The NCAA said Nicks, a star wide receiver, benefited from “academic fraud” by receiving improper academic help in 2008 from a tutor implicated in the scandal at UNC. North Carolina acknowledged Nicks’ ineligibility for the first time Thursday. Nicks, now with the NFL’s New York Giants, holds the Tar Heels’ record for career receiving touchdowns with 21, and TDs in a season with 12 in 2008. He also holds records for receiving yards in a career with 2,840, in a season with 1,222 in 2008, as well as the career receptions record with 181 and season record with 74 in 2007. The asterisk next to Nicks’ name will refer to a note that says “participation later vacated due to NCAA penalty”.

Truth be told, no way Hakeem Nicks gives a flying fuck about his records at college football powerhouse UNC getting the Bonds treatment.  Maybe if he was Al Bundy, he’d fight to keep his Polk High past a reality.  Instead, he’s a 24 year-old millionaire stud WR about to defend a Super Bowl title for the G-Men.  I think he’ll get over it.  I’m just curious what “improper academic help” is.  Getting a tutor to help you attain passing grades & keep your eligibility seems like that tutor’s doing their job properly.  Are we simply talking topless tutoring a la Van Wilder, or a more intricate plan involving an Asian, blackface and massive hand prosthetics?  

“Regarding student-athlete 1, a review of email communications revealed that on April 21, 2008, the former tutor wrote conclusion paragraphs for five of student-athlete 1’s writing assignments in an education course,” the NCAA infractions report says. The tutor has been identified as Jennifer Wiley of Durham. She has declined to comment and did not cooperate with the NCAA inquiry.

What?  Are we in America?  Seriously.  A star athlete having some nerd do his homework is an act of commerce that’s stood the test of time – whether it be in exchange for the semblance of friendship, party invites or, apparently in this case, deep-dicking from a black dude with hands the size of dinner plates.  You learn to broker these deals in high school.  Is Nicks illiterate?  Probably – he did notch one of the all-time low Wonderlic scores which I’m pretty sure are equivalent to the top line of an eye chart from 3 feet away.  I doubt he even knew what an asterisk was when he heard the news.  “Aight…ass sticks sound good to me…”  Just don’t lump him in with the Terrelle Pryors of the world pulling in cars and cash.  He’s merely a dumb jock who made your average American dick-for-homework trade.  Big deal.

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