Rape Jokes Are Completely OK When It’s Male-On-Male

Posted: July 18 @ 5:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[Knox News]  A Powell resident remains jailed today on charges he lured another man to a cemetery mausoleum, locked its door, made the victim drink alcohol and then performed oral sex on him. The victim was “punched, slapped, scratched and choked” during the Saturday evening episode and stated “he feared for his life and never thought he would leave the mausoleum alive,”. Arrested and charged with aggravated rape, aggravated kidnapping, trespass or injury to cemetery property and vandalism was Charles Ronald Bean, 54. While Bean and the victim, 23, were inside the Woodhaven Memorial Gardens mausoleum, Bean allegedly urinated on the walls and carpet, the report states. Authorities learned of the incident through an E-911 call Saturday where the unidentified caller stated, “I am going to die inside the mausoleum,” Deputy Robert Carroll stated. Carroll said when he arrived, he could hear a voice inside the locked mausoleum “telling someone else to keep quiet.” After obtaining a key from a manager, the deputy said he was trying to unlock it when the alleged victim ran out from the left side of the mausoleum and yelled for help. After several commands, Bean opened the mausoleum’s front door. According to the incident report, the victim gave this account:

He received a text earlier Saturday, purportedly from a woman asking that he meet her at the mausoleum. The victim said he decided to go to the arranged rendezvous after he received a picture of a woman by text identified as “Nicole.” The victim told the deputy he went inside the mausoleum, heard someone, turned and saw Bean locking the door. The victim said he tried to leave, and Bean pushed him back and told him “he was going to drink the alcohol and have oral sex with him or he would kill him and put him inside the mausoleum where no one would ever find him,” the report states. The victim said he was then forced to drink alcohol, and “was forced to let Bean perform oral sex on him.”

If we could all just cry rape every time we found ourselves regretting a sexual situation after-the-fact, jails would be chock-full of fat chicks, busted bitches, trannies and queers.  Unfortunately for our 23 year-old victim, that’s just not the world we live in.  I’m sorry you thought you were about to nail Nicole and ended up a gay hostage, but if you’re so hard up to bust a nut that you followed through on a completely random text from a “chick” you don’t know, I feel like things could’ve been a lot worse.  I mean if the worst to come out of my kidnapping is that I get free booze and my dick sucked, then tell Liam Neeson not to come looking for me.  I’d prefer it not to be head from a dude twice my age but if it’s between this or having my eyeball blowtorched like a Hostel victim, my hand’s going on the back of Charlie Bean’s dome every time.  Sure, it stretches the fuck out of the old addage “there’s no such thing as an ugly blow job”, but it beats stretching my starfish & getting some old dude’s jizz all over the shit I’ve yet to take.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, if this was a legitimate rape-napping, this kid would be smiling ear-to-ear that he just blew a load & didn’t have any orifices penetrated.  Crying rape simply means he found out he’s not as gay as he thought he was.

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