I’m Not Saying I Could Beat Either Of These Guys Up. . .But I’m Pretty Sure I Could

Posted: July 10 @ 1:00pm by Cracker in Bolivian

Ok first off, these announcers absolutely killed it. So many good lines from them, it’s outstanding…”You can not even kill this guy with a samurai sword if you stab him, he’s too big.” Maybe it’s the subtle racism at play, but in any case it’s funny. Or how about this one: “Probably the largest athlete to compete in sports, in any event, in the history of the Earth, that I know of.” And I don’t know why this line cracks me up, but it does: “This is a good place for maybe a jump spinning heel kick.” Never in my life have I heard such a ridiculous suggestion, but at the same time it’s just an awesome all around sentence. 

Can you imagine the amount of shit that sumo is going to get from other sumo wrestlers? Losing a fight to a guy that weighs 483 pounds less than you has to be the sumo equivalent of being beaten by a girl. I can just imagine the next big sumo tournament, opponents are sending up like 65 pound school children, throwing salt around and doing that leg-lift thigh-slap stomp thing they do. Just mercilessly taunting this motherfucker…Oh well, this is a good place for maybe a jump spinning heel kick.

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