Nothing Good Ever Comes From Partying With Your Parents

Posted: June 25 @ 10:00am by 610 in Bolivian

[Anchorage Daily News]  A bloody fight between a naked father and son trashed their Spenard home and spilled into the street early Friday, Anchorage police said. It was 6 a.m. at a house on Kent Street when an argument between an 18-year-old and his 39-year-old father turned violent, said police spokeswoman Anita Shell. The father later told police that both men were high on ecstasy, LSD and marijuana when they started fighting over drugs and a woman, Shell said. Police will not release either man’s name because the altercation involved domestic violence. Three children, ages 7, 12 and 16, were in the house at the time, and the 16-year-old was assaulted, Shell said. As the frenzy continued, the son — completely nude — ran through a large window on the front of the house, shattering it and gashing his shoulder and thigh, Shell said. He ran in and out of the broken window more than once, further cutting himself, she said, and the men continued to beat and wrestle each other inside. They destroyed cabinets and shelves and the 18-year-old bled all over couches and carpet in the home, the police spokeswoman said. The son ran out of the house and into the street, where neighbors just starting the day watched in astonishment, Shell said. Shell said the father had emerged from the house by then, removed his flower-print shorts so that he, too, was naked, and the men continued fighting in the street. Police officers were there in a couple minutes and pulled the man off his son. The son was “completely out of control” and attacked the officers, who shocked him three times with a electric stun gun. It took three officers to handcuff and hobble the teen, meaning his hands and feet were bound. Both the father and son were taken to a hospital and now face criminal charges.

See, this is why you can’t party with your parents.  In theory, dropping a few acid tabs & E-bombs while ripping bingers with pops sounds pretty awesome.  “Hey bro, your dad is cool as fuck!  Just like one of the guys…”.  No he’s not.  To everyone else, maybe, but he’s still your parent and inevitably pa dukes is gonna flex his parental muscle and ruin your party.  I mean it’s pretty obvious what happened here. Everyone’s having a blast until it comes down to who gets the last pill or weed nugget.  Then all of a sudden it’s “Son, I brought you into this world and I can take you right out!  Now pack that bowl & pass it or go to your room!”  That shit’s embarrassing.  Not to mention he’s been scheming on your broad all night with that “…let me know when you wanna fuck a man who knows what he’s doing…” bullshit that you’ve been passing off as a joke.  At some point you gotta let dad know you’re not the 9 year-old he gave your first beer to.  If he wants to have a dick-measuring contest, you oblige & drop trou.  He still wants to treat you like an adolescent bitch?  Then crash through that living room window cock-first like motherfucking Kool-Aid and beat the shit out of him.  Stop being a dick in front of my friends, pops…I’m a man now.  Get rid of your flowered shorts & bring your floppy dick on over if you got a problem with that.

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Comments
  1. Cracker says:

    Drugs: It’s all fun and games, until you find yourself nude wrestling your own father.

    PS – I’m a grown man and I’m still not sure I could beat up my dad. But, I’m pretty sure I could at least hurt him nowadays, plus I’m sure I heal faster than a sixty year old man. All I’m saying is that fucker better not look at me the wrong way at Thanksgiving this year!

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