Mantyhose!

Posted: March 8 @ 3:00pm by 610 in Bolivian
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[Daily Mail]  If you thought men in tights was a sartorial statement best left to medieval jesters, think again. The underwear staple for women is making its way into wardrobes of the opposite sex – and the look is gaining popularity. If any were in doubt as to the strength of the trend, it even has its own name: Mantyhose. Italian design house Emilio Cavallini has designed a range of tights that it says are unisex and the styles are being snapped up by men, who make up two to three per cent, or 20- to 30,000 – of the company’s customers. Costing $27, the tights, made from a mix of cotton and nylon, were launched in June 2009. Speaking to the fashion newspaper, the company’s vice president, Francesco Cavallini said: ‘When we started our online shop we noticed that a lot of tights sized medium-large were being purchased by men.…So I did a search on the Internet and discovered there is a cult following for mantyhose.’ Cult or fad, the trend has gained some momentum of late, with Racked even conducting a poll as to the best name for the dubious new dressing habit. While it was WWD who coined the term ‘mantyhose’, brosiery’ is a clear leader in the survey, ahead of ‘guylons’, ‘he-tards’, and ‘beau-hose’ – a term surely reserved for the most confident men out there. The designer believes his male clients mostly seek warmth, wearing the pantyhose under trousers – but tells the fashion newspaper he has seen men pairing them with shorts, while his sister Lisa Cavallini, the company’s distributor in the U.S., told the publication she believes the leg wear is a style-driven choice. ‘The unisex tights are mainly black and white, but I believe the men buying these tights want to make a fashion statement,’ she said.

Listen, I’m an outside-the-box type of guy.  For example – if I’m watching TV at home, I won’t just leave a single hockey game on.  I’ll flip back and forth to NBATV too.  I’m about as well-rounded as it gets, and I’ll give almost anything a shot.  That being said, although mantyhose sound pretty incredible, there’s no way I could rock them.  And it’s got nothing to do with me being called a fag or anything.  If you think the dude in the picture is a homo, then I’d be more than happy to be one too.  My problem with brosiery is that I bug out a lot when my feet are constricted.  I’m talking full-blown panic.  If I’m withholding top-secret intel, you’re not gonna get shit from me with nipple clams, electricity or shears for my fingers – but if you dangle a onesie that’d fit a 6’5″ human, the game is over.  The coordinates are yours, evildoer.

Yeah I wear shoes and socks like a normal person but I’d prefer not to, and I’ve taken my shoes off plenty of times in my office.  It just strikes without warning.  Like if I’m laying on the couch with my chick asleep near me and I got some socks on, there’s a decent chance I’m going to spaz out of the clear blue and kick/knee her repeatedly until I can rip my socks off.  She’s suffered this rude awakening often, to the point where she’s half-conscious going straight for my feet to help me out when the mayhem ensues.  And it’s not like I have a choice.  If I’m in a controlled environment where I’m forced to keep socks on while in all-out panic mode, I’m in hysterics immediately.  No exaggeration.  I’m offering up blow jobs & my mom’s life through crocodile tears and snot for someone to just let my feet free.

So, anyway, for as much as I like to be on the cutting edge of fashion & am cut from the old “don’t knock it ’til you try it” mold, I’m gonna have to pass on the guylons.

P.S. – Joe Namath wore pantyhose.

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