Elementary School Giving Out Naked Lady Slap-Bracelets For Good Grades

Posted: October 20 @ 12:30pm by 610 in Bolivian
Tags: , , , ,

[Yahoo]  School administrators hoping to reward students for their A+ fund-raising efforts at a Florida elementary school unwittingly gave them X-rated gifts, officials said. School officials at Jay Elementary School in the Panhandle on Wednesday were trying to collect more than 100 bracelets distributed to students involved in a fund-raising drive after pictures of naked women were found hidden beneath the bracelets’ cloth coverings. Known as slap bracelets, the accessories were handed out to about 160 students. One curious child removed the cloth cover to expose the springy, recycled metal measure tape used to give the bracelet its grip. Along with inches and centimeter marks, the tape included pictures of partially clothed and nude women, Santa Rosa County School District spokesman Bill Emerson said. “It was one of those calls you get from parents where you say, “Really?” Emerson said. “Then it turns out to be true.” The school district alerted the Nashville-based company that had purchased the bracelets from a Chinese manufacturer, and the company has stopped shipments of the naughty novelties, Emerson said. Parents have been understanding, he said. The district is continuing efforts to retrieve the indecent prizes but has so far gotten only a handful back. He said he wouldn’t be surprised if some students keep the bracelets. “Curiosity is bound to get the better of some of them,” Emerson said.

Way to go, Florida.  Just when you finally paved the way for students’ maximum effort toward scholastic excellence, you take the dangling carrot away and prove a child’s education really isn’t all that important.  Can’t we just ride this out and see what happens?  Stop making a big deal about kids seeing a pair of tits ‘too early’.  It’s 2011 – a middle school virgin is more scarce than a black ginger.  ‘Too early’ isn’t too early anymore.  It’s time to give the ultimate motivator, boobies, a fair chance.

Have you ever heard a Nobel Prize winner or some other genius contributor to society thank their premature exposure to fun bags for keeping their noses in their books?  For keeping the reward of knowledge well-balanced with the reward of a boner every now and then?  No, you haven’t.  But not because it hasn’t worked – because we’ve never given it a shot.  It’s all work-work-work for these braniacs who grow up to be meek tightwads without a grip on reality.  The people responsible for the selfishness which has triggered an economic crisis of epic proportions because they were never provided the gateway to get laid a few times in school are extracting their revenge.  And it’s working.  The Al Bundy high-school heroes are the ones paying while the nerdy powers-that-be point and laugh.  Well, Florida, you were on the precipice of turning this around.  Instead, you just made the A+ brigade even more angry by teasing them.  Thanks.

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