‘Captain Save-A-Ho’ Arrested For Public Intoxication

Posted: August 10 @ 5:00pm by 610 in Bolivian
Tags: , , , ,

[Press-Citizen]  A self-professed protector of women was arrested for public intoxication Monday afternoon. Iowa City Police Officers were dispatched to the Pedestrian Mall at 2:43 p.m. for multiple complaints of a man harassing people. Police said they found 34-year-old Jerald T. Navarre shouting and smelling of alcohol. Police said Navarre showed signs of intoxication, admitted to drinking and told officers he was “a little drunk.” He refused pre- and post-arrest breath tests. The man allegedly told officers he is “needed” on the Pedestrian Mall to “protect women.” He goes by “Captain Save-A-Ho,” police said. Navarre has a lengthy criminal record with various arrests for intoxication, burglary and escape from custody, according to online court records. Navarre has been charged with public intoxication.

Listen, Captain Save-A-Ho, I get it…I mean I get it as much as a mere mortal can get it.  I can’t imagine it’s an easy job protecting all the hos at the Pedestrian Mall from unexpected danger.  I’m sure you get mocked a decent amount because you’re so good at crime-fighting that no one can tell how dangerous it is for a bitch to be strolling through the Food Court by herself.  A little credit every now and then wouldn’t hurt, right?  You just want SOMEONE to know.  Or maybe you just want a new t-shirt.  I hear you bro.  There’s only like 5-6 people who read my posts and none of them acknowledge I’m a humor hero.  Ever.  But you know what?  You gotta power through.  You can’t just be getting all liquored up & blowing your cover.  It’s the gift & the curse.  And did you forget about the hos?  It’s not about the glory, it’s about the hos.  You can’t help them from the drunk tank, Captain.  No doubt chicks are getting gawked & whistled at from Spencer’s to the Churro stand and all the way through Sears. Hopefully this is just a blip on your superhero radar, my friend.  Clean your act up and keep those hos safe & sound.  If you don’t, who will?  Who will?

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Comments
  1. Cracker says:

    So what you’re saying is there’s unguarded ho’s at this mall in Iowa City? Be back in a couple days guys, it’s a free-for-all while the Captain is behind bars.

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