[Daily Mail] A hacker allegedly broke into the email accounts of at least 19 women and stole naked photos – then posted them on their Facebook pages as their profile pictures. Joseph Bernard Campbell, 24 is set to plead guilty to federal charges of cyberstalking and unauthorised access to a computer after the hacking spree in Largo, Florida. He allegedly broke into the emails of around 500 women, searching their accounts for naked photographs. He knew many of them from high school. At least 19 victims then found those photos had been posted as their Facebook profile pictures, leaving them ‘devastated’, according to Lieutenant Bill Sohl of Belleair police. Many of the photos were several years old, and some had been sent by women to their fiancés in the military. Most of the victims had been to high schools in Pinellas County and ‘ran in the same circle of friends.’ One ‘mortified’ victim told the St Petersburg Times: ‘It wasn’t rape or murder, but it was certainly rape of emotions for the women involved.’ The 24-year-old, who worked for a temp agency, also posted the photographs on an x-rated website called ‘Dumpster Sluts’ and a forum called ‘Revenge’. Lieutenant Sohl told the Tampa Tribune: ‘He was very computer savvy. He worked on a computer all the time.’
You know what I learned from this story? That out of 500 broads this dude knew, 20 of them have pics of their funbags or clam hanging out in their Sent Items. That’s 4%. One out of every 25 chicks are dumb enough to leave their spank bank photo shoots up for grabs on the web. Does that seem a little high? Like I’d have probably guessed 1-2% – but now that I know 25 hacks will get me to a pot of gold, it makes cyberstalking lucrative enough for me to give it a shot. Cracking 100 passwords is way too much work, but 25 is cake.
I’ve also confirmed that 100% of females have sent at least 1 fleshy photo. Here’s how I break it down:
If 4% of chicks who send naked pics via email leave them in their Sent Items, that means 25% of all chicks send naked pics via email. That’s based on a fair hypothesis suggesting 84% of all closet email cybersluts actually DELETE their dirty work. I also think it’s safe to assume that, of all NSFW exchanges they partake in, 75% of it is done via text, not email. So if 75% are sexting and the other 25% are going the old-fashioned email route, logic dictates your moms, grandmas, aunts & sisters have all used the information superhighway to be beaten off to.
Simple math, folks. Not all just fart & rape jokes here at iB.