Baseball Gods, I’m calling on you tonight. Right about now, as this post is set to publish, I should be on my way to Yankee Stadium. I don’t know if you’re aware, but a guy by the name of Derek Jeter is on the threshold of joining an exclusive club. 3,000 hits. I bought the tickets when he was still on the DL, and I came pretty damn close to guessing the right game. Jeter is batting .258 right now, which means just more than a hit for every 4 at bats. So, if you play the averages, it’s most likely not going to happen tonight. I’m asking for your help though baseball gods. Give him a little push. If you remember, I missed A-Rod’s 500th HR game. Since into BOLIVIAN wasn’t even a glimmer in 610’s eyes yet, I had to just send out this email to my buddies to tell the story:
I love Yankee Stadium. It’s obviously my favorite place to watch a baseball game, and there’s no need to remind everyone of the history that was made on that field. I wanted to see some of that history myself, in person. When A-Rod hit number 499, I didn’t think there was any chance he’d hit number 500 at home. A few games went by without a long-ball and A-Rod was in an 0-21 slide. The Yanks were heading home and KC was coming to town. Obviously it was going to happen this weekend, but when? I had to work Friday and Saturday so I wasn’t going to be able to get to the stadium then. I have family functions on Sunday, but could have probably got out of them. So it was looking like I should shoot for tickets for Sunday…until I found out (on Friday) that I no longer had to work on Saturday. Perfect chance to witness history, so I hit ebay on Friday night to find tickets. I’m sitting in my living room on my laptop, with the Yankee game on TV, about to buy the tickets when A-Rod comes to bat. I figure I’ll play it safe and wait until his at-bat is over just to make sure he doesn’t hit #500 right after I buy some ridiculously over-priced nose-bleeds. A-Rod singles. I instantly click “Buy-it-Now”.
Now it’s saturday. Game time is 1:05. Wifey is coming with me, but she’s working until 12. I thought about taking the train, but my sister was coming over for dinner so I wanted more control over when I got home. The Yankee website says construction of the new stadium is causing traffic, so use public transportation. But same thing with Shea, right? I’ve driven and parked there with no problems. Besides, the Stadium is only 13.3 miles away from our apartment, so an hour should be plenty of time to get there. Well, an hour was enough time to get there, but barely. We pulled up to the stadium at about 12:58. Susan Waldman was done introducing the line-up, and John Sterling was preparing to call the first pitch. Luckily, the home team bats in the bottom of the inning which should give us time to park. That’s where all hell broke loose. I am not kidding, an hour later we were still looking for parking. Of course A-Rod hit #500 on the first pitch he saw all day. Couldn’t be the 2nd, 3rd maybe 4th at-bat. No, first pitch. We were still in the car and I was furious. I told Wifey that I was tempted to just turn around and go home. We did finally find a parking spot at the Concourse Plaza on 161st and made it to the game in the third inning, but it was in vain…the damage was done. I couldn’t even take pride in the fact that I actually bought tickets for the right game, to watch history being made. Instead I drove around the Bronx for an hour, yelling profanities and flipping off Bronx locals that probably could have stabbed me.
So, like I said, I love Yankee Stadium and I’m all for tradition. But I wouldn’t be the least bit upset if a huge wrecking ball took it down and a huge, 20 level, mega parking structure took it’s place. Give me a hammer, I’ll take the first shot.
So yeah, I was pretty upset. Remember it like it was yesterday. It was blazing hot, we were way up in the uncovered nose-bleads just baking in the sun. There were a bunch of hillbilly tourists sitting behind us just yapping the whole time. Normally it’s no problem, but they were the type of guys who constantly joke around and think they’re funny when they’re really not… kind of like everyone who writes for this blog. So, baseball gods, I kind of think you owe me one here. I know you tried making it up to me by letting Gary Sheffield hit his 500th at a Mets game that me and 610 went to. That was a nice gesture and all, but please, please let Derek Jeter go 3 for 5 tonight.