The World Wants To Suck Larry Bird’s Dick, What Else Is New?

Posted: May 13 @ 12:30pm by Black Dude in Bolivian

[Boston.com]  Just about everyone thinks Eric Torpy is a birdbrain. In October 2005, Torpy asked an Oklahoma County judge to tack on three more years to his 30-year prison sentence for armed robbery and two counts of shooting with intent to kill. “He said if he was going down, he was going to go down in Larry Bird’s jersey,’’ Oklahoma District Judge Ray Elliott told the Associated Press back then. “He was just as happy as he could be.’’ But after sharing a 10-foot-by-15-foot cell at the Davis Correctional Facility for the last six years, Torpy regrets asking for the extra time. “Now that I have to do that time, yes I do,’’ says Torpy. “I kind of wished that I had 30 instead of 33. Recently I’ve wisened up. “That three is a big deal, you know? Three years matters.’’ Torpy will turn 33 this year and is not eligible for parole until 2033. The 33 imagery doesn’t end there. Put his arms together and the tattoos on his elbows read “33.’’ He also has a small green shamrock tattooed near his eye. “I’ll always represent Larry Bird,’’ he says. “He’ll always be on me.’’ Why Bird? “Larry Bird is a legend,’’ he says. “To me, he supersedes all basketball legends.’’ Torpy says he was “basically clowning around’’ when he asked for more time. “I told them, ‘Look, you might as well just give me three more and give me a number I like,’ ’’ he said. “And I’ve always liked Larry Bird. And I’ve always liked the Boston Celtics.’’ Because of all the publicity his case has generated, he thinks Bird knows about him. “I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m an idiot,’’ says Torpy. “I mean, truthfully, most people do. My own family does, so I’m pretty sure he does, too.’’

I don’t think that if you combined Forrest Gump, rain man and I am Sam, you could come up with a more retarded dickhead then this fucking genius.  “Yo Judge, I want to go out like my main man Larry legend, so give me 33 years instead of 30, I want to retire my prison jump suit in the prison yard rafters with all the greats”  I know dude loves the Boston Celtics because they are the greatest sports franchise in the history of mankind, but come on bro, where you on crystal meth at that time (real possibility)?. Theyonly positive side of the story, is he can look forward to peace and quit, while he jerks off to posters from the 80′s. Only question I have is , does he have the posters with LB sporting the stache or not? FYI, if this story doesn’t scream out to you that white boys always think he was better than Jordan, to bother a line from the President Obama, “..need to have their heads examined.”

P.S. If I was gay, like Richard Simmons gay, I think I would let Larry Legend pound his penis on my cheek bones like a drum set

P.S. above has to be the gayest non gay man comment of all time

P.S. I am Sam was a great movie, made me cry like a pussy, but I feel so good about myself after sheeding some tears

P.S. its funny how everyone in prison finds Jesus, guess he must be hiding out there or something 

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Comments
  1. dudebro says:

    how are you so unfunny?

  2. Fuckingawfulblog says:

    Not funny and learn how to type an actual sentence correctly.

    The sad thing is you sat there typing this up like someone would actually give a fuck. How about you open the door to your house/tent/trailer/apartment/dumpster and see what it’s like outside. Loser.

  3. hack says:

    terrible… can’t believe you link this to the Stool, thinking that the readers over there would like this shit. biggest waste of 60 seconds in my life.

  4. hack says:

    PS- you should hang it up

  5. hack says:

    PPS- PS stands for Post Script… when you have more than one, you add another “P”.

  6. hack says:

    PPPS- i’m pretty sure i made that last shit up… i just wanted to keep adding comments to your shit blog.

  7. Stop says:

    This blog sucked, but to be more precise:
    1.) Your grammar sucks
    2.) Your spelling sucks
    3.) You’re not funny
    4.) You linked it to barstool and he’s actually a good blogger so it just makes you look even worse.

  8. Phoenix Dark says:

    This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen in my life. You have about 12 typos and misspellings in there also, you idiot. Give it up. Total piece of shit.

  9. 610 says:

    Guys, guys, guys…there’s a zillion other posts on here besides the ones BD writes that deserve just as much criticism for their awfulness. Please spread the hate. Thanks.

  10. db says:

    db big time you suck your blog sucks and your life sucks end of story. hopefully youare on a lot of drugs. loser.

  11. steveo says:

    I am commenting just to piss scrody off. Are you sad I didn’t comment on one of your posts?

  12. peoplewhoannoyyou says:

    did you guys know black dude isn’t black? also your blog fucking blows, you just take shit from barstool and rewrite a shitty version of it… shut it down bro… also i almost didn’t comment on this blog because I know that you love the criticism and when people comment on your blog, but you are just way to much of a loser to pass up

  13. this.site.sucks says:

    This is embarrising,go find another line of work

  14. thissite.sucksass says:

    i’ve never commented on a blog before but felt i had to this time. YOU SUCK a lot more than manzo! please off yourself.

  15. Heated76 says:

    Words can’t express how much i despise blackdude. his blogs are a a bigger disaster than his life, he idolizes and immulates that ugly hook nosed Jew portnoy like the fucking lacky he is. blackdude do society a favor and go play in rush hour traffic u fucking mutt.

    If neone has nething to say to me or disagrees w nething I’ve said plz notify me immediately so I can ruin any shred of self esteem u have left similar to what I do to blackdude any time he opens his fucking wordhole.

    thnk u

  16. WhiteDude says:

    I cant wait for the next blog.. keep em coming

  17. SORRY ASS says:

    there’s actually more than 1 person running this blog? unbelievable waste…

    • scrody says:

      ok… we’re getting warmer. now if we can just get people to hate the other posts too we’d be on our way.

      • Black Dude says:

        yeah no fucking kidding, bunch of fucking retards reading the blog, i mean i didn’t expect much but i swear, we get the bottom of the barrel

      • blackdudesCOCKisWhite says:

        you are the barrel

      • scrody says:

        I’m so confused white cock. Are you saying Black Dude is the barrel and all the commenters are at the bottom of him? Do you just not understand the analogy? I wanted to write a retort but I have literally no idea what it is you’re trying to say. I’m not even sure if it’s an insult. The only thing I am sure of is that you pretty much proved BD’s point.

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